Unlock Authentic Living by Discovering Your Core Values

Are you living a life that truly reflects who you are at your core? Many people find themselves drifting, caught in a current of societal expectations and external pressures. Discovering and living by your core values is the key to unlocking a more authentic and fulfilling life.

What Are Core Values?

Core values are the fundamental beliefs that guide your decisions and actions. They are the principles that define who you are and what you stand for, independent of external influences. They are different from goals, which are specific achievements you strive for. Values are also distinct from societal expectations, which are the pressures and norms imposed by the world around you. Your values act as an internal compass, pointing you toward a life of purpose and meaning.

Why Are Core Values Important?

Living in alignment with your values brings a multitude of benefits. It increases happiness and reduces stress by creating a sense of inner harmony. When your actions reflect your deepest beliefs, you experience greater life satisfaction. This alignment also improves decision-making. Faced with choices, your values provide a clear framework for evaluating options and selecting the path that resonates with your true self. This leads to stronger, more authentic relationships. When you are clear about your values, you attract people who share similar beliefs, fostering deeper connections.

Conversely, living out of alignment with your values can have negative consequences. It can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration, and even burnout. You might feel like you're living a life that isn't truly yours, leading to chronic stress and a sense of emptiness. Research shows that value incongruence can increase psychological distress.

Exercise: Identifying Your Core Values

Uncovering your personal core values requires introspection. Here's a practical exercise to guide you:

1. Brainstorm: Start by reviewing a list of values. Write down any that resonate with you, even if you're unsure why. Don't overthink it; simply note the words that evoke a strong feeling or sense of importance.
2. Reflect: Consider moments in your life when you felt most fulfilled, proud, or at peace. What values were you honoring in those moments? Conversely, think about times when you felt frustrated, angry, or unfulfilled. What values were being violated?
3. Narrow Down: From your brainstormed list and reflections, identify your top 10 values.
4. Define: What does each word mean to you? Write it down.
5. Actionable verb: Add a verb to create an actionable core value.
6. Visualize: Put this list where you can see it.

Prioritizing Your Values

It's crucial to prioritize your values because they can sometimes conflict. For instance, you might value both "adventure" and "security." A new job opportunity might offer exciting challenges (adventure) but require relocating to an unfamiliar place (challenging security).

To prioritize, ask yourself: "Which value, if compromised, would most diminish my sense of self?" or "Which value is most essential to my overall well-being in this situation?". There's no single right answer; the key is to make a conscious choice based on your deepest understanding of yourself. Another helpful technique is to imagine your future self looking back on this decision. Which choice would your future self be most proud of?

Integrating Values into Daily Life

Identifying and prioritizing your values is just the beginning. The real transformation happens when you integrate them into your daily life. Here are some actionable tips:

• Morning Reflection: Start your day by reviewing your values. This sets a conscious intention to live in alignment with them.
• Value-Based Decisions: When faced with a decision, big or small, ask yourself: "Which option best reflects my core values?"
• Align Activities: Examine your daily activities and commitments. Are you spending time on things that truly matter to you? If not, consider making adjustments. For example, if you value "creativity," schedule time for creative pursuits, even if it's just for 15 minutes a day.
• Communicate Your Values: Share your values with the important people in your life. This fosters understanding and strengthens relationships. It also helps to create a personal philosophy to help you stay on track.

As Simon Sinek emphasizes in his book, Start With Why, understanding your "why" (your purpose and values) is crucial for finding your direction and inspiring others.

Overcoming Value Conflicts

Navigating situations where values conflict, either with each other or with external pressures, is a part of life. If your values conflict with those of your workplace or family, open and honest communication is essential. Seek to understand the other perspective, and look for compromises that honor your values as much as possible. Sometimes, difficult choices must be made. If a situation consistently violates your core values, you may need to consider making significant changes, such as seeking a new job or adjusting your relationships.

Re-evaluating Values Over Time

Core values aren't static. They can evolve as you grow and change. It's important to periodically re-evaluate your values to ensure they still resonate with you. Life experiences, new relationships, and personal growth can all shift your priorities. Schedule regular check-ins with yourself, perhaps annually or during significant life transitions, to revisit your values and make any necessary adjustments. This ensures you continue to live authentically as you evolve. This practice also helps redefine success as you grow.

Brené Brown's work on vulnerability and authenticity highlights the importance of living according to your values for wholehearted living. As she states, authenticity is "the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are." This journey is about having the courage to embrace vulnerability.

Discovering your core values is just the first step towards a more authentic and fulfilling life. WonderSage can help you dive deeper into understanding yourself and creating a personalized self-help book that guides you in living according to your values.