Unlock Your Authentic Life A Practical Guide to Living Your Values

Living authentically means ensuring your actions and words consistently align with your beliefs and values. It involves a deep understanding of yourself, including your passions, strengths, weaknesses, and motivations. This blog post provides a practical, step-by-step guide to unlocking your core values and incorporating them into all areas of your life, resulting in greater fulfillment and meaning.

What Are Core Values and Why Are They Important?

Core values are the fundamental beliefs that guide your decisions, shape your behavior, and define who you are. They are the principles that you consider most important in life, such as honesty, compassion, family, or adventure. Living in accordance with your values contributes to a sense of purpose, identity, and belonging.

Authenticity, as Brené Brown describes it, is "the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are." Choosing authenticity enhances relationships, improve mental health, and develop resilience. When your actions align with your values, you experience greater life satisfaction and build stronger self-esteem. Simon Sinek, in his "Start With Why" concept, emphasizes that understanding your "why" (your core values) drives meaningful action and purpose.

Identifying Your Values: A Practical Exercise

Discovering your core values requires introspection. Follow this exercise to clarify your values:

1. Reflect on Peak Moments: Think about times in your life when you felt most fulfilled and joyful. What values were you honoring in those moments?

2. Consider Times of Anger/Frustration: Think about times when you felt angry, frustrated, or upset. What values of yours were being violated?

3. Review a List of Values: Examine a comprehensive list of values (examples below) and circle those that resonate with you:

   • Accountability
   • Adventure
   • Authenticity
   • Community
   • Compassion
   • Creativity
   • Curiosity
   • Family
   • Financial Stability
   • Freedom
   • Friendship
   • Growth
   • Honesty
   • Integrity
   • Justice
   • Kindness
   • Learning
   • Loyalty
   • Open-mindedness
   • Respect
   • Security
   • Service
   • Spirituality

4. Narrow Down Your List: From the circled values, select the top 5-7 that are most important to you. These represent your core values.

5. Define your values. Write a short definition for your core values.

Prioritizing Your Values: Dealing with Conflicts

Values can sometimes conflict. For example, a desire for financial security might clash with a passion for creative risk-taking. When faced with conflicting values, consider the following:

• Context Matters: The priority of a value can change depending on the situation. Viktor Frankl's concept of value conflicts suggests it's not as simple as creating a ranked list, and that it needs more of a three-dimensional approach, taking into account the context.
• Identify the Core Conflict: Clearly define the values in conflict.
• Consider Long-Term Impact: Which decision will best align with your most important values in the long run?
• Seek Creative Solutions: Can you find a way to honor both values, even partially?
• Prioritize: Asking who is replaceable in a given situation helps to figure out what responsibilities can be delegated.

Living Your Values: Practical Application

Integrating your values into daily life requires conscious effort. Here are some examples:

• Career: If you value creativity, seek roles or projects that allow you to express your innovative ideas.
• Relationships: If you value honesty, practice open and truthful communication with your loved ones. If you are struggling with relationships, and want to unlock deeper connections, consider your values.
• Finances: If you value security, create a budget and savings plan that aligns with your financial goals.
• Health: If you value well-being, prioritize healthy habits like exercise, nutritious eating, and sufficient sleep.
• Time Management: Schedule your day and week by first focusing on your top priorities. If family time is one of your top values, schedule it before anything else.

Values and Self-Esteem

Living in accordance with your values is crucial for building self-esteem. When your actions align with your beliefs, you experience a sense of integrity and self-respect. This reduces cognitive dissonance (the discomfort experienced when holding conflicting beliefs or when actions contradict beliefs) and promotes a positive self-image. Discover your values to build your self-esteem.

Re-evaluating Values Over Time

Values are not static. Life experiences, personal growth, and changing circumstances can lead to shifts in your priorities. It's important to periodically re-evaluate your values to ensure they still align with your current life stage and goals. This does not have to wait for a major life change. Decipher your inner compass regularly.

WonderSage helps you further explore your values creating a personal self-help book.